Reasons Vs. Excuses - Why are we poor?

All over the internet, and thus all over the world, you can see evidence of people having the attitude that poor people wouldn't be poor if they didn't want to. *Rolls eyes* That might be true of somethings, say, like being a judgmental jerk, but if that were true, poverty would be eradicated! Seriously! I can promise you I don't want to be poor, where's my magical way out NOW that I've decided that?

I've heard people talk about that anecdotal hobo who would rather live on the streets than be in a cubicle, but I have yet to meet him. On the other hand, I've met scores of people down on their luck, with no pride left, struggling and hoping and praying for change. Working jobs they certainly don't want to, wearing tattered clothes they don't want to, eating expired food they don't want to, just to make it. If you are that person - that realized you were poor one day, and decided that you didn't want to be anymore, and changed your circumstances in less than a year, please let the rest of us now how you did it.

Now, all humans tend to make excuses. Even poor people make excuses, but not any more than anyone else. For the sake of this post, I'd like to define reasons and excuses, as I see them.

Reason - A truthful fact that cannot be changed or avoided.
I'm late because my car broke down.
There's really nothing you can do about that.


Excuse - May or may not be true, but if it is, it can be changed or avoided if you wanted to. Used to elicit sympathy.
I'm late because I kept turning off my alarm clock because I slept so bad last night, and then I had to stop and get gas, and I had to get some breakfast but the line at McD's was super long.
All may be true, but if you hadn't kept turning off you alarm, you would have had time for all the rest. It could have been avoided, but you're trying to get sympathy to avoid conflict.

Therefore, a lot of people think that low income people are constantly making excuses for being poor, instead of having legitimate reasons. There absolutely are tons of humans in this world that will use excuses to not have to do the things they should, but they are certainly not concentrated in one income bracket or another (at least in my opinion/experience).

I'm going to share with you my reasons, and my excuses (yes there are a few) for being in this financial state my family and I are in.

I'm going to completely disregard any factors that came before my adulthood, such as where I grew up or parent's income or any of that. These are the reasons and excuses that  effect my life since independence.

Trisha's reasons for being poor:
*Due to me and my 1st baby's health, I had to be at home with her for the first 6 months after she was born.
*When she was 3, I had a routine surgery that turned into a health disaster - I was in the hospital for a month, had months of recovery and multiple surgeries and procedures.
*I was "laid off" from my job while I was in the hospital.
*Shortly after leaving the hospital, I divorced my husband. (I don't care what anyone says, that was unavoidable. Circumstances.) This left my credit in really bad shape due to joint debts.
*Even after I was "fixed", I still had health problems that cost lots of money to treat and made working hard. I couldn't go back to school yet because of my poor health and lack of money.
*After returning to work, I was only able to work about 6 months before my health started deteriorating again. (luckily though at this point is where my now husband came into the picture and started supporting us.)
I had to quit working while I figured out what was going on. Lots of doctor's visits and bills before the reason was discovered.
*I had to travel to a larger city 6 1/2 hrs. away from my home for doctor's visits, and ultimately for surgery. All of this used up any extra money my husband made, put us behind on bills, and damaged our credit.
*After my dear, sweet second child was born, she had some kind of sleep trouble the doctor's couldn't figure out. I was getting 2-4 hours of sleep a night. I couldn't function. Work and school were out of the question. I had periods of hallucinations, from exhaustion. This lasted until she was 16 months old (and her sleep STILL sucks sometimes).
Trisha's Number One Reason For Being Below The Poverty Line: Poor health and doctor bills.


Trisha's excuses for being poor:
*I did not do anything while young to establish any kind of credit history.
*During college, I worked a lot of small, short duration jobs, not really gaining any experience and messing up my resume'.
*I never made saving money a priority.
*I got pregnant 5 months after getting married, and I didn't go back to college while pregnant. We still didn't prioritize a savings account.
*I didn't go back to work after my child was stable, or back to college, because I wanted to be home with her. I didn't return to work until she was 3. I still didn't put anything in savings.
*After finally being well enough to work, I did not look for/gain anything but seasonal employment for about 6 more months. Now I had a really crappy work history, no degree, and no real experience in anything but retail. Still no savings.
*I worked only 6 months before getting sick again. I returned to work 3 months later, and promptly found out I was pregnant again. After finding out I was pregnant, I once again put school on hold. I only worked 4 months before quitting due to pregnancy issues. Didn't put away any money in savings.
*It's only been about 3 months since my baby's sleep issues have gotten tolerable. I have obviously not returned to school or work yet.
*We have never concentrated on saving money, even when we were able.
*We moved across country 2 months ago. (Yes it was for my husband's work, but there may have been other options.) This took all our savings, and my husband cashed out his 401k.
*Through sicknesses and surgeries, and babies and moving, we have allowed our credit to go to absolute crap from unpaid bills and broken contracts.
*I don't want to go back to work full time until my littlest is older.
Trisha's Number One Excuse For Being Below The Poverty Line: Not prioritizing savings or credit.

I have reasons for being low income that cannot be helped. But I certainly don't want to be poor, so I can take steps to make sure I have fewer excuses for it too. Some of my excuses were made out of ignorance, but they were still technically avoidable.

So, I actually think this was a good exercise for me. I definitely see a repeating theme in my excuses. No savings, and bad credit! Ok, so hey, I have some definite things to focus on that might help us out of this mess!! I can work on keeping those to things from being a continual excuse. I mean, I've always known that savings and credit were issues, but seeing them over and over - when I could change it!! - why wouldn't I?? Seeing it in black and white gives me a focus for change.

If you're in the same boat as us, I encourage you to make a similar list. Be brutally honest with yourself. Really ask if a circumstance was avoidable or changeable. If it wasn't unpreventable, it's an excuse. Maybe you'll gain some insight. I hope in doing this you can find a focus to help your family out as well.

In a future post I will outline what I plan to do about the excuses I can change, because really I need to do more research first. I'm not sure how to fix my credit without more money!