But I don't want to be. I'm only Trisha because I'm poor and have not found a way out yet. Please let me explain.
I sometimes go on reddit for entertainment. It's basically a melting pot of all the things on the internet, including news, entertainment, and personal discussions.
One of the threads I decided to post in one day was a question about growing up poor, and the effect it had on your success in adulthood. I was very honest, probably too honest, but it was for a scholarship essay so I thought I ought to give a lot of detail. Of course other people answered the question too. The time came when the young man finished his essay and asked me to read it. (I wish I could post it here, but I don't have his email anymore to ask permission.) He kindly gave us all aliases.
"We begin with a woman named Trisha from the U.S..."
He explained my situation growing up and the current state of our life. It was honestly depressing, seeing my situation outline so succinctly, with such clear similarities between my childhood, and the childhood I was giving my children. To make matters worse, the rest of the personal accounts in the essay were in comparison to mine. I was the only person in that essay who hadn't risen above poverty to make a better life.
The only one.
The others had gone on to be largely successful, using their experiences to catapult themselves into college and well paying jobs.
"Trisha has not been so fortunate,..."
It was heart breaking. Soul shattering. I was - am - so ashamed.
Please understand, I do not blame him. He wrote nothing but the facts as I had relayed them. He put in no opinions, or unkind words. The pain I felt and still feel was not his doing, it is my own, and that is the worst part.
If people from poorer and more unstable countries can escape really horrible conditions and have successful lives, why can't I? Is there something wrong with me personally, or are there other factors at play? Does where you grow up have any effect on upward mobility? What other factors can make a difference in whether or a poor youth climbs, or stagnates? I don't have answers to these questions yet.
All I do know, is that I am Trisha, I am still poor, and I am trying to change my story.
Hello: You have both my sympathy and my empathy. I grew up poor, very poor. I've just finished your blog and I'd like to make a suggestion. It may just be my ignorance but I've noticed that several bogs I read have advertisers. Is it possible for you to sell some advertisers. It might help or it might not.
ReplyDeleteAlso amazon has a sub-site called M-turk which offers low paid fairly easy work over the internet which can be fit into almost any schedule. It doesn't pay much but I've used it when I've been desperate.
Please try not to feel shame or guilt your economic position is structural to the economy and is not your fault. Easier said than done I know.
Hello Sarah! Thank you for commenting. I was originally turned down for AdSense, which is the only one I know of (though I'm sure there are more) to make money from ads on your blog. I'm going to go try again once I am done replying, because my blog has received a lot more traffic lately and maybe they will accept me!
DeleteAlthough I believe M-turk is a good idea for some people, the tasks I could do literally paid in cents. I haven't looked at it recently though, so I'll go back and check it out. I'm lucky in that I have a couple writing jobs that pay decently per assignment, so my number one goal is to get faster at those, and find more like them.
There are lots of factors at play in any person's situation. My shame comes mainly from the life I am giving my children. I want to give them so much more. I will consider myself extremely lucky if I can raise children who are sensitive and pro-active when it comes to poverty, but who arent stuck in the same cycle.
Thank you again for replying to this Sarah, and I would love to know more about your situation and how you overcame it. If you feel like it, you can email me at trishalovetrove@gmail.com. Don't worry, I wont share anything publicly, I just like to talk to people who have been in similar situations to see if I can glean any wisdom.
Have a great day!