The beginning of the story

We are each the narrator in our own story.

As a single human in this world of 3 trillion others - each with their own problems and challenges - how do you get another being interested enough in your story enough to help you change it?

I guess, sometimes, you just have to ask. More on that in a minute.

I'm a poor mother in a poor family. My husband and I both grew up in poverty. Our parents, while on opposite sides of the country, grew up in poor rural communities with their parents literally working for pennies. As far back as I could find on a certain ancestry website, there were very few stories of legitimate success on either side. I say legitimate, because my husband has a very high profile counterfeiter in his genealogy. So here we are on the bottom branches of our family trees raising yet another generation in poverty. How do we over-come this?

The oft repeated and widespread belief that if we just applied ourselves better we wouldn't be poor, isn't working so far. My husband applies himself every single day as he commutes an hour to a decent paying job that he really doesn't like all that much just because it has the potential for advancement. He applies himself by being fully committed to being the best employee that he can be despite his feelings about the job in general. He applies himself by asking to learn any and all things new, not only so he can feel like he earned his pay, but also so when a job up the ladder opens up, his name is on the tip of their tongues as the best choice.

I, on the other hand, despite feeling guilt that I'm not contributing monetarily to the household, do my absolute best in applying myself to raising intelligent, kind, loving, flexible, well-adjusted children. I apply myself in making my husband's job easier by doing all the cooking and cleaning and making him lunches to take to work to fill him up and keep him focused. I apply myself by constantly looking for other ways I can apply myself for the betterment of my family.

The betterment of my family. This is my sole focus, my main motivation behind everything I do. This one idea is what every decision we make revolves around.

My husband left his last job for this one, even though he was making $1 more an hour, because there was absolutely no chance that he'd ever make more than $13/hr., even if he was there for 10 years. I supported him completely in that decision because the idea that we would take one step back and then two steps forward would still mean that we were making progress. We took that one step back. We then took one step forward. We are still waiting on that second step that will put us ahead of where we were. I have faith that it is coming, soon.

Part of that is because I finally asked for help. Someone, some people, were interested in helping me change my story. Fresh eyes and fresh ideas have given me some small steps to take to make our lives a little easier without too much more sacrifice.

This blog is just one of those small steps. It may turn into absolutely nothing, but it will not be wasted time, because dammit, at least I am trying.

I can't promise you, the reader, or even myself, that this story will have a happy ending. I can only ask that you journey with me as I try to give it one.