What Christmas Is Like For The Poor

The Bad: (I will always try to end on the positive notes.)

We are constantly trying to find a new way to say "We don't have the money". For that tree, that wreath, that gift you want to give your friend, the tray of crystal-y Christmas cookies.

We can't participate in any gift exchanges - at work, at church, or even among our extended family. Sure, we get a gift in return, but what you don't realize is we would just do without a gift and put that money somewhere we need it more. Like a gift for our child. Or you know, food.

We completely avoid the Christmas and toy isles when we go shopping. If your kids can't see it, they won't know what they're missing.

Our Christmas tree was a gift, or there wouldn't be one. Perhaps it's a cheap tinsel triangle stapled to the wall. The ornaments were a gift, or we made them.

We have no wreath on our door. We might have a red bow, but only because it was 25 cents at Goodwill.

We don't send Christmas cards, because we can't afford the cards, envelopes, and stamps. Grandma & Grandpa may get one, but everyone else is left wondering why we don't send any year after year.

When our kids write a list to Santa, we feel obligated to explain over and over again that Santa will only bring one thing off that list. You hope that there is something cheap on there. If there isn't, you sit them down and make them write out every single last tiny thing they can think of...yes, a pencil sharpener is one of my daughter's gifts this year.

If our kids get gifts, they get one from "Santa" or they are donated. If we're doing better than usual, there might be several things from Goodwill.

IF our kids still believe in Santa, they wonder why he brings other kids so much more.

Our kids lose their belief in Santa sooner, because there are better years, and there are worse years. In worse years, destroying that belief is a better option than making them believe they were so bad, Santa didn't bring them anything.

Our gifts are wrapped in paper bags, recycled gift wrap, or in re-used gift bags. Gone are the days presents are wrapped so beautifully that it's like a gift in itself.

We don't put lights on our house. Our one strand of lights is on the tree. If there is an extra strand, we hang it up in the kid's room.

We don't have holiday parties, and we don't go to them either. We can't afford to feed anyone else, and we don't come because we don't want to feel embarrassed and lacking.

We work on Christmas Eve, and Christmas day. We don't have a choice.

Christmas dinner with our family is usually one of three : Dinner that happens to be on Christmas, a lovely box of food donated to us, or eaten at a Church or soup kitchen.

Our Christmas wish is that next year, things are better.

The Good:

We spend several hours making ornaments and decorations with our children, to put on the tree and around the house. Paper snowflakes, paper chain garland, popcorn garland, salt dough ornaments.

Christmas lights are magical. Even for the adults.

We emphasize the true meaning of Christmas, giving and being appreciative, and spending time with family. Cop out because we can't afford gifts? Maybe, but there's nothing wrong with taking the opportunity to teach those values.

If you receive a gift from us at all, it's home made and you'd better believe HOURS of thought went in to it. We love you and want you to know that, and feel special, even if we couldn't afford to buy you something.

Every member of the family deeply appreciates any gift they receive. Clothes are almost as nice as receiving an actual toy.

We bake cookies with our children, and decorate them together.

We make hot chocolate, and stir it with candy canes.

We love Christmas music. We haven't been in the stores much, so we aren't tired of it. We sing the simple ones with our children.

We don't have to deal with Black Friday, cramped parking lots, or angry shoppers.

Even though we haven't sent out any, every Christmas card we receive gets put in a prominent place where everyone can appreciate them.

Our walls are decorated with all the Christmas pictures our kids drew. Who needs decorations?

If we can, our children get lots of "presence", even if they don't get many presents.

We believe in miracles. We hope for one every day.