Netflix Judging

There's a strange trend I'm noticing as I read other people's blogs, forum threads, and article comments on issues of poverty: Netflix judging.

We all know the general consensus among those who are not in poverty is that if those who are were willing to work harder and sacrifice more, we wouldn't be in that condition. I guess by sacrifice more, they mean every single little thing that costs money, that doesn't go towards basic necessities. Really, people explain their situation, with many circumstances stacked against them, but as soon as they mention they have Netflix (or internet, or cable), everyone seems to lose all logical thought and blame that person's situation on their frivolity of daring to spend money on entertainment. Isn't that a little ridiculous?? I know you as a logical person are thinking. no way, but I've seen it/ read it at least 5 times now. Recently related again by Sam.

Yes we have Netflix. Whether it is that, or Hulu, or basic cable T.V., these are some of the advantages it provides:

Entertains children / keeps them busy so Mom can clean and cook.
Educates children with pre-school and grade school educational programming.
Helps younger children learn to talk.
Allows us to bond as a family on movie night.
Entertains Mom & Dad after children have gone to bed.
Keeps depression (from being poor!) at bay.

Netflix costs $8/month.

 Logically, what is an extra $8 per month going to do for someone in poverty? A few extra vegetables, a small toiletry item? Sure, they could put it in savings for a year, but with the disaster cycle many are stuck in, that money would be used up long before it got to the full amount, sucked up by everyday life. And yet, for $8 /month Netflix can provide all those benefits I listed above. That is worth $8 to me. Absolutely. Even so, that doesn't make it a priority to me, and those months we can't afford it, we cancel the auto debit.

Maybe these people take this as evidence that people who complain of poverty are using their money on additional frivolous items, and the cumulative money would be substantial enough to make a measurable difference in their lives. I cannot speak for everyone of course, but generally, we're just like you. We look at our budget, note which "frivolous" items we would like to have, and weigh the benefits against the costs. One expense not deemed "necessary" does not mean we are so irresponsible with the rest of our money that it keeps us in poverty. Yes, low income individuals do develop money habits different from those who are not, and those habits can contribute to the poverty cycle; however being cautious with what we do have and weighing the benefits against the costs is something financially successful people do every day. We just have a lot less.

Maybe these people think that by having any enjoyment in our lives at all, that we are making our situation more desirable, and therefore have less drive to make any change. I don't know about you, but an occasional frivolous expense does NOT make my situation more desirable, only more tolerable. Tolerable, in that I don't have to hear my oldest cry about why we never get to do anything fun, we never have the money etc. Tolerable, in that we get to escape for 80-90 minutes from this persistent drudgery and think about something else for a change. Tolerable, in that no, we can't ever go to the theater, but with some cheap popcorn, some blankets and pillows, and a movie on the screen, I can give my family a positive experience when those are so lacking these days.

I apologize if this has seemed like just another rant on our situation, I suppose it is a tiny bit. It always hurts to be judged and misunderstood. This is really a plea to those of you out there, that automatically jump to conclusions when you see a person begging for help and advice and you immediately jump all over their one single luxury. How is that helpful? How is that supportive? We need help improving our circumstance, not making it worse by sucking every bit of joy out of it.

The next time you have that urge, try to help by focusing on the bigger picture, and not the minute details.