Thursday, June 5, 2014

...Could this be the end?

Of eating moldy bread because there's nothing left?
Of making my daughter wear diapers a bit too long because we don't have enough to last until payday, and crying because I gave her diaper rash?
Of looking covetously at the stuff people set out on the curb on trash day, because I can't even afford another trash can, much less those really nice looking chairs you threw out?
Could this be the end living off of the discounted bread at the grocery store, despite blood sugar issues?
Could this be the end of making sure our lives are in danger before going to the doctor because we can't afford the bill for anything less?

I'm afraid to hope.

My husband got the job!!!....but it doesn't seem real yet. We still don't know how we are going to pay our phone bill, electric bill, and personal loan we used to get through rent week. I don't know how we are going to afford to move. I can probably get boxes free, but after looking at craigslist, deposits + first month's rent + moving truck + gasoline, is going to be impossible until he's made more money for awhile.

Guys, what if this is the end of needing food stamps? I have never NOT been on food stamps...
What if we really COULD pay our debts, and start savings accounts for our children, have an emergency fund, and maybe even have some left over to get a reliable car, or go visit family, or even just a clothes dresser??

I was so excited when I found out, but I'm afraid!! Why?? I SHOULD be excited, happy, relieved. And I am it's just that I'm afraid too, afraid to believe and trust and hope, and be disappointed again. I'm afraid it's not real. I'm afraid something will happen to ruin it. I'm afraid of being between a rock and a hard place - making too much money for assistance, but not enough to survive. I'm afraid of money increasing, but things not really improving because there are just so many places that money needs to go. I'm afraid that being poor for so long will mean we have issues that will screw up being financially stable.

He will make $34,000/yr salary, with the potential for bonuses if his store starts doing well. It's about 10k a year more than we make now. It seems like a huge amount to me at this moment, but logically and comparatively, I know it's not a whole lot.

Mostly I just can't seem to wrap my head around things changing for the better. I've identified as "poor" for so long, it's like a part of my identity. I know that sounds silly.

I think perhaps I'm in shock - heh. I knew he could get it based on his abilities and merits, I just didn't believe that we would be blessed with that kind of good luck.

And now, suddenly, there could be a time in the near future where I can afford to buy all of the groceries I need for my family for a week. It brings me to tears.


  1. Trisha: i am so happy for you and your husband and kids! You will not screw anything up. Don't get new debt and you will be fine.
    The issues around moving kind of confused me. Is it the expense of first and last on a new place ? Moving costs ?
    This is a time you can really change your finances. Live simply, save and get a bit ahead. Or, a lot ahead. When your finances are more solid you will have more choices about where you want to live, moving etc.
    Your budget numbers will all change with increased paycheck but no food stamps etc. The best thing you could do is to create a budget that includes savings! have it taken out of hubbys paycheck so that you don't see it. Just ignore it and let it build up.

    1. Hi again Christie, thank you for your kind words!
      Basically, we have to move to be closer to his new job because it is just too far to reasonably commute, even for a couple weeks. We thought we'd have more time (and money) to do it, but they want him to open the store mid July instead of mid August! That really doesn't leave much time at all, and if he is not making his new salary until the store opens, then I just don't know how we can afford it. It is the total cost of everything related to moving, but especially the deposit that is the problem. Everyone seems to want 1.5 months rent as the deposit, AND the first month rent before you can move in. That's a pretty good chunk of money, and unobtainable without a loan or letting all our bills go unpaid. Either way that's debt, which we don't want. So I really hope he starts getting his new salary soon, then maybe it won't be the huge problem it feels like.
      I am in the process of making a budget right now, using just his base pay since we can't depend on anything over that. I think it's still going to be hairy financially for a few months after he starts getting manager pay, but should equalize later on. I'm really hoping this is the turn around we've been looking for.
      Thanks for commenting, and being so much help!

  2. So happy for you!! Don't fall into the trap of making too many purchases at once (upgrading car, etc.) until you have a good idea of what the cash flow is likely to be. Will his job pay for relocation? If not, you may be able to deduct some moving costs next year. You should still be well below the poverty line for a family of four, so your food stamps may not change much. Some states offer assistance with first and last month's rent/rental deposits. Does yours? Some companies offer salary advances for moving expenses. Also, check if some of the things you want (like a chest of drawers) can be found on freecycle. And please check with the pharmaceutical company that makes your meds to see if they have a low-income program...many manufacturers of meds have programs for those who qualify to have free meds or low-cost meds for a year or more. Sorry to sound repetitive if you knew all that, but by keeping to a strict budget, saving, and getting out of debt, you should be able to finally make it!

    1. I will take ALLLL your advice, enough the stuff I think I know, and use it. It's hard to resist that urge to buy stuff right away, but pretty much we have no choice at first anyways because we *have* to move. Even after that, there are still several near necessities we still need, and bills we have to pay, etc. We are talking budgets every day. What are going to try to do is have 3 savings accounts - 1 for rent/bills; 1 for a goal (like a car or debt); and 1 for an emergency/general fund that we try to never touch unless necessary. Does that sound like a good idea?

      His job does not offer relocation or advances, and I will definitely claim moving expenses if we can. The rules are tricky. We could last year because we moved 1400 miles, I'm not sure if this move will qualify, but I'm going to keep receipts just in case. Thanks for commenting - and caring!


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